Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys.

I’m really not a fan of gossip. Updates on how friends and family are doing are great but when someone tries to turn a peaceful coffee date into a soliloquy of he said-she said-this doesn’t affect me but I’m ranting about it anyway– then I just switch off. I have to, it’s either that or completely offend and alienate my companion by reminding them loudly and at length that ‘frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

  • I don’t give a damn about all the ways someone else’s life does not affect you.
  • I really don’t give a damn about your childless self’s opinions on another’s parenting skills.
  • But most of all, I don’t give a flying fuck about a bunch of people I’ve never met, doing things that don’t affect me with people I’ve never heard of.

Honestly, it is none of my business! I feel like this should be obvious… and yet… the endless quest to ensnare me in the bullshit continues. If you have an issue with someone personally, if they’ve said or done something untoward to or about you then by all means tell me about it. I will listen to you rant for hours if need be, honey you can vent to your hearts content.

But if all you want to do is sit there and tear down the people you know to make yourself feel superior then I’m not interested. I don’t buy into the belief that my worth as a person is dependant on the worth, or perceived lack there of, of someone else. I don’t want to treat the details of my friends’ lives as a commodity to be traded at will. I don’t understand why people are always so ready to tell you the absolute worst about the people they say they love.

If that’s what you’re saying about the people you care for most then I hope like hell I never have to hear what you say about me. Or better yet… I hope you never say my name at all.

Why is it that vitriol and spite are so much more socially acceptable than admiration and respect?

When I asked this of google I was informed that there are four main excuses…

Insecurity. Insecurity is not an excuse to be an asshole! How is that really going to make you more secure in yourself?!

Attention. If you can’t capture the attention of a room without resorting to being malicious then you don’t deserve to have it at all.

Jealousy or Revenge. Talking shit about someone isn’t going to change anything, let it go and move on.

Boredom.  Really? Don’t be a dick.

Personally, I don’t really see how any of those things are a valid excuse for ruining someone’s day.

I’m sure the argument could be made that, by my own logic, other people’s gossiping habits are also none of my business. Anyone making that argument would be right, they’re not, which is sort of the whole point… I don’t want to be involved.

Just. Stop. Trying. To drag me down to your level, I don’t want to be there and I can guarantee you won’t like me if I ever sink that low.

This seems to have somehow taken on a life of it’s own and mutated from an observational post to a ranting open letter so I’m just going to end it here and be happy in the knowledge that at the end of the day it really comes down to one truth (based on a Polish proverb)…

It’s not my circus, they’re not my monkeys and I have zero fucks to give about how they perform.


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