Coming Out.


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I’ve been hearing a lot of coming out stories lately, both awful and inspiring, and when I think of mine it reminds me of just how grateful I am to have them family I do.

I’ve never been the one people looked at and were like yeah, she likes girls. Aside from being a cat person, I’ve never really fit anywhere within the stereotype or had any of those obvious tells people so often reference so really there wasn’t a whole lot of warning.

I was expecting it to be a bombshell, it was actually pretty anticlimactic and I couldn’t be happier about that.

My Father was the first person (outside of my closest friends) that I really came out to. I was living half a country away and was pretty much out with my friends and colleagues but it’s easier with strangers, you’re not so much coming out as establishing fact.

My Daddy, though, that was the one I was afraid of. Not because I’m afraid of him, he’s received a Worlds greatest dad mug from me every year since I was old enough to buy gifts for good reason, (the fact that I’m closer to 30 than 15 & still call him Daddy should tell you all you need to know about our relationship). But he’s always been larger than life to me and is something of a stoic traditionalist so the idea of disappointing my hero (again) was absolutely terrifying.

In the end though, it was almost an accident.

It was over the phone while I was in a changing room (I’m sure there’s a great closet joke in there somewhere) looking for a dress to wear on a first date that night. It went a little like this…

“Are you busy? I hear rustling.”
“Yeah sorry, just in a changing room. I have a date tonight and nothing to wear to it.”
“Oh, what’s his name?”
And I, being thoroughly distracted by a twisted bra strap, answered  “Charlotte.”

In reality, it probably only took about 3 seconds for him to answer but it was long enough for my heart to get caught in my throat and a cold sweat to break out on my neck and I was about one more second away from actual palpitations when he came back with…

“I see, where’s she taking you.”

I swear I have never been more in awe of anyone’s ability to just roll with it than in that moment. That right there is the definition of accepting, the man knows how to parent.

I don’t know if it took more than those 3 seconds for him to process this shift in reality but never once did he give me any indication that it mattered or changed a damn thing so…

Daddy, if you’re reading this, you’re a superstar and I couldn’t ever ask for more.

 

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