Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys.

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I’m really not a fan of gossip. Updates on how friends and family are doing are great but when someone tries to turn a peaceful coffee date into a soliloquy of he said-she said-this doesn’t affect me but I’m ranting about it anyway– then I just switch off. I have to, it’s either that or completely offend and alienate my companion by reminding them loudly and at length that ‘frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

Continue reading Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys.

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50 Reasons Why I Am A Feminist.

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I was asked pretty recently why I’m a feminist, and, while I was staring at the asker in confusion (because shouldn’t it be obvious?), the question was immediately followed by “I mean, women can vote and shit, isn’t the whole equal rights thing sorta handled?”

I was absolutely stunned… Women can vote and shit. Because obviously that is the be all and end all of equal rights, we can vote! What else could we possibly want? I literally face-palmed so hard I’m surprised I didn’t leave an actual handprint.

So, to make up for being too shocked to give a concise answer, here, in no particular order, are fifty reasons…

Continue reading 50 Reasons Why I Am A Feminist.

The C Word

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Beyond the obvious and my issues with hypoglycaemia, I’ve never really given all that much thought to my physical health. It’s always been my mental health that’s caused me problems and in the mess that is my tenuous and hard won illusion of normality there wasn’t really space in my head to focus on much else. Sure I get sick, but a few weeks of grumpy sniffling and a course of antibiotics and I’m fine.

Now though, I’m thinking about it. It’s all I’m thinking about, because I am in the middle of my first real health scare. Continue reading The C Word

Signed, Sealed & Delivered.

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Every relationship has milestones, a collection of firsts on the way to building a life with someone.

I’ve had a few serious relationships and a lot of firsts but in my varied and sometimes sordid past affairs I’ve never before made it to this one.

The first shared home.

Continue reading Signed, Sealed & Delivered.

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Right now I’m up to my neck in packing boxes and feeling a bit like I’m squatting in my own apartment.
Taping up all the trappings of my life and wondering where the hell I’m even going to send them when my lease ends.
Another address I’ll forget in another city I’ll leave behind in another year I’ll feel like I wasted.

Just another in a long list of places that I never knew how to make home.

How To Be Happy

Lately I have been completely flooded with self-help spam and life-guru book recommendations and the one thing I’m getting from all of this is that I really don’t understand the obsession with ‘Happy’. All of these diagrams and how to guides and lifestyle coaches telling you that if you just follow their simple steps then you too can be ecstatically happy all of them time.

You too can be be happy every moment of every day.

Continue reading How To Be Happy

Really? All of Them?

I really think that the worst thing about signing up to anything online has got to be the user/account/blog name. Take wordpress for (the currently humbling) example…

I woke up this afternoon and decided today will be the day I start a blog. This is the solution for my ever persistent writer’s block. I have all these cool title and name ideas, I’ve got a basic (read: incredibly vague) idea of what I want for my content, I’m all sweet, I’ve got this. So, brimming with bravado I signed up, or rather tried to. Eleven, ELEVEN, choose your blog name attempts later and it’s becoming increasingly clear that I don’t got this. Or rather, somebody else got this first…Eleven somebody’s with eleven different ideas.

Eleven people who have already had my creative and original (or so I thought) blog names. And that’s just the ones who managed to use them before they got sniped by yet another someone with the same idea.

For a moment it got me thinking like some introspective existentialist… Are there really any new ideas? Is it all just about getting in first? Am I not as original or creative as I thought I was? Do I sound really pretentious asking this? And there was my stupidly obvious answer… Yes. I do sound pretentious and so did all of my ideas.

So I stopped, put down my iPad and went to make a cup of tea while resisting the urge to bang my head against the wall. Of course they were taken, they were flashy and attention-grabby and not particularly me at all. They were titles for people with something to say and stories to tell and some idea of what the hell they’re doing.

I don’t know what I’m doing 99% of the time. Sometimes I maybe have an idea, on good days I’m almost pretty sure but mostly I’m just lost and faking it.

And right there, that was my moment of inspiration, that is what I can write about. Being stuck in maybe, just aiming for almost.

WordPress sign up take two, New blog name accepted first try.

Well, I guess I better write something…